bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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