he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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