Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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