Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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