Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize