He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
