My sheets look like a crime scene.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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