I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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