FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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