Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize