She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
