I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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