I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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