I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
