she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
