Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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