As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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