What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
