yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
