Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
