oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
