I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
