Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
