I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You may now shotgun with the bride
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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