Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
