You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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