it was like eating out sand paper
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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