This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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