return my video game
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
soo... how was my night?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
