I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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