AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
