He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Randomize
