If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize