I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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