i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Randomize
