White coat. Heels.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
