Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
All I want is dick and wine.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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