...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
