The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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