Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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