you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Randomize
