Your dad touched me again.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize