Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
