There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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