SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
