how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
