yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
