Even the bartender felt bad for me
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
