The maid of honor just puked.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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