I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
