sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
