Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
