Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
