okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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