how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
