My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
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She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
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Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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