we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
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I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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